Intercultural Weasel Advice

From Scott Adams’s Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (2002):
“Weasels are always eager to give unsolicited advice on topics as diverse as romance, work, and advanced satellite telemetry. But it’s not because weasels like to help. It’s because when you give advice, it makes you feel wise even if you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

An upstart intercultural consultant at one of the world’s largest software companies recently told me that when we say to someone:

“You’re lying!”

the judgment is too personalized because it interprets the action of the addressee. So, if we truly want to resolve conflict, it is a better practice to focus on our own actions, perhaps by saying:

“I think that you’re lying.”

I tried that with my wife, who’s from a much different culture than mine, that same night. Wrong move!

After three nights sleeping on the couch, I learned a valuable lesson: Beware of intercultural weasel advice.

D.I.E., D.I.E, D.I.E!!!

From M.R. Hammer’s Solving Problems and Resolving Conflicts Across the Cultural Divide: The Intercultural Conflict Style (ICS) Inventory Workshop (2007):
“Reframing is initiated through conscious application of the D.I.E. . . .move parties down the D.I.E. ladder from evaluation to description.”

One of the intercultural conflict resolution methodologies passed down to communication coaches at one of the world’s largest software companies is memorized by a spooky acronym, D.I.E.:

1. Describe
2. Interpret
3. Evaluate

We’ll look at the particulars later, but think for a moment about what might happen if we coach our students to D.I.E. Is it culturally appropriate to remind our students of death?

Now, read the quote above and think about the framer of this acronym; his recommendation is actually to evaluate, then interpret, then describe the actions of those who you are in conflict with. In other words, the actual sequence is E.I.D., yet the catchy acronym D.I.E. is used to market this particular intercultural conflict resolution strategy.

Personally, I think we’d be a lot better off if our opponents would DIE; it would save us thousands of dollars in fees to intercultural charlatans like Dr. Hammer.